Honesty Is Awesome!

So, Krista Sahlin is so awesome! She sent me an email, and told me she appreciated my honesty, and people like me and told me to go ahead and use the code anyway! I feel so blessed!

Honesty or Not?

Today, I was presented with an interesting situation. I love to digi-scrap, and I have a few favorite designers that, when they create new products, I have to refrain from going shopping for them! Krista Sahlin is one of those designers. Her work is so much my style that I buy her stuff as often as I can, grab every freebie she has, and drool over her work; wishing I could "scrap like her" someday.

So, she had a drawing for one of her new baby kits for free. I entered, and thought, "Hmmmm, I'd sure like to win that!" I am scrapping my baby right now, and it would be perfect. When the winner was announced - it said, "Michelle" was the winner, and I thought, "NO WAY!!!" and emailed her immediately wondering if it was really me, or another Michelle.

She emailed me back saying that I was the only "Michelle" she could see who had entered and also on facebook and twitter. She congratulated me and gave me the code to download for free.

OHHHHH. The dilemma! I did not enter on facebook and twitter. I knew instantly it was not me. But, I went to her shop, code in my copy/paste ready to go and then felt my heart sink as the Holy Ghost was telling me that what I was doing was not right.

I knew it. But I really wanted that baby goodness. I walked away from my computer to think and ponder. As soon as I got to my bed, I knew I must reply to her email letting her know that I would not be using the code afterall, because it belonged to someone else. I am going to try to put a picture in here to show you how cute the darn thing is.

As soon as I sent the message off to her, I felt immediately better. Honesty is something I expect from my children. I am easy on them when they tell the truth. I am very harsh on them when they choose to lie and I catch them in it. So, I must do the same with myself. It feels good to do what is right. Better than using a cute scrapbooking kit for free...

I wanted to jot down a few thoughts about President Hinckley.

I had many thoughts that I wanted to say, but they are not in my brain at this moment. He was a wonderful prophet. He was a great man. I felt so uplifted and given such hope during his funeral services. I am so happy the church runs so smoothly as the Lord designed it.

I am excited for President Monson's time. He is also a great man. He will be a wonderful prophet. I know the church is under the direction of our Lord Jesus Christ. We are in good hands indeed.

(part3)

So, since I have painted the picture I have of Mary's birthing experience with the Savior, I wanted to also share my feelings and thoughts of Eve's birthings.

If Mary had it hard, Eve must have been at a real disadvantage right? (tongue in cheek)

Eve had no physical mother. Eve only had Adam. Eve conceived and was pregnant. She had no idea what she was in for. Or did she? Although they had left the presence of the Lord, they were not left alone. They were sent "further light and knowledge" and had the gospel of Jesus Christ. They were sealed together. They had knowledge of good and evil, and of the plan, and of salvation through the Savior. And, they taught this to their children.

Imagine with me, that they are sent instructions for lots of physical things also. Gardening and making shelter. What foods to eat that will be of benefit to a growing baby. And even birthing. Eve had no preconceived ideas of how birth should be. She didn't know birth was supposed to be painful. And even if it was, she was willing to pass though sorrow so as to experience the good. She understood that and made that choice. She saw that it must be.

I will not discuss the "curse of Eve" as others believe it. Purely because I don't believe she was cursed with pain. I believe she was "cursed" with work, with sorrow, and yes, physical pain at times. But, I do not believe that birth was designed to be painful.

So, she is expecting her first baby. I think she knew the time was soon. I think she and Adam were a great team and were ready. I think they were able to help Eve be comfortable and that she worked well with her body in birth because she was excited to be a huge part of the Father's plan. I think the joy and the excitement far outweighed the work, or the pain, she may have felt.

I think that it solidified her faith in Adam as her protector and her faith in our Father in Heaven because she was able to fill His spirit guiding her like no other time in her mortal life. The guidance of the Spirit in birth that is unhindered by technology, busy work, or preconceived ideas of how it should be is so strong. The veil gets thinner and thinner until the time comes for the baby to pass through it. The mother is sitting at the gateway. She is the conduit for the new life to pass through the veil. When she is feeling the full array of sensations involved in birthing, and she goes deep within herself to find her way through the birth, she meets her baby at the veil and escorts him to mortality. Helpers can be there to aide in the mother's ability and comfort, but as soon as those helpers step out of their bounds and begin to manage and take the mother's role and deaden her sensations, they also rob her of that intuitive part where she goes within.

So for Eve, she and Adam were able to participate in that moment that for them also brought them back as close as they could get to being back in their first home. And those feelings were so familiar. So comforting. Working together, they began the human race. What could be more glorious to them in that time of their lives?

Birth in the Scriptures (part 2)

In writing that last post, it reminded me that I wanted to paint a different picture of Mary's experience in her birthing of the Lord Jesus Christ than was portrayed in our church just before Christmas.

The speaker was quoting heavily from a talk given by one of the General Authorities. I love the leaders of our church, but I do not agree with his view on this sacred topic. Much of his comments were about how hard and lowly the birth must have been. I will not quote the words here. But consider this other point of view based on my own experiences of birth and of other women I know.


First, picture a young woman - pure and full of faith in the Lord. Picture a choice youth, much like many of the youth in our church - with a strong desire to do right. Like Nephi, a youth who seeks the will of the Lord and is willing to do even though they cannot see the end nor how they will actually accomplish the Lord's will. Picture a young woman brought up in a home that prays, listens to the words of the Lord's leaders, studies the Scriptures, and seeks to do what is right. Picture also a young woman brought up in a world where birth is watched over by midwives in the comfort of one's own home and with other women close to the birthing mother. Where birthing is normal, nothing to fear, and a joyful time in a woman's life. Birthing is an everyday event met with joy and not fear.

Now, imagine this young woman, finding herself with a faithful husband, expecting her first baby. Except for how this baby was conceived, it was a time of joy. She probably felt a great connection to the baby's spirit inside of her; A time of excitement and anticipation. What will he look like? What will it be like to hold him for the first time? To hold him to my breast and nurse and nurture him there? She was preparing her whole life to be a mother. I am sure she was excited, although a bit nervous about the unknown - still excited to be experiencing it all. And, she had the wonderful support of her loving husband - who proved his loyalty to her and his devotion to her through the unusual circumstances surrounding their engagement and marriage.

They were then asked to leave their home to go to a small town far away to pay their taxes and be counted for a census. I am sure, as a woman of faith, she may have been unsure how she would accomplish the tasks before her, but she knew that the Lord was with her and she would be able to do it. Traveling by donkey, she was undoubtedly uncomfortable at times. And yet, that may have been a way she had traveled before. And if not, she still had her husband, and the Lord with her to comfort and guide her.

Fast forward to the time she is to give birth. She knew the time was soon and so did Joseph. We don't know for sure, but I bet they knew the baby would be born while they were away from home and prepared for it. They carried with them supplies they would need. Baby blankets, diapers or whatever was the custom for that baby item, extra clothing for Mary, food and water. They didn't need much more than that. Birthing equipment of the era was really all comfort-related - and normal birth needs no more than that.

What they really needed was a place. A place not only to stay, but a place suitable for a birth to occur. A place that was isolated. A place that was clean and a good temperature and dry. A place they could be intimate and private and that had water. However this place was obtained, the Lord was watching over them and I am sure guided the events that led to their being in the stable. Clean straw and hay was undoubtedly available to prepare a bed and water was available to drink and use. Blankets were likely there. And we don't know that they were alone. There may have even been a village midwife or two that could have been contacted and been there.

But, what if it was just Mary and Joseph there alone during the labor and birthing? Speaking from my own experience, there is little need in a normal birthing for there to be anything else. Loving, encouraging words must have been issued from Joseph's lips. He could have easily helped her into comfortable positions. He loved her, for sure, and being guided by the spirit most likely offered prayers and was immense support for Mary.

And, Mary probably had seen births in her youth. Why would that matter? She knew what normal birth looked like. She had no need to fear the birth itself. Even if she hadn't been to a birth - the extraordinary fear that surrounds birth for most modern day women I believe was absent for Mary. Birth was normal and joyous. Birth was hard work, but manageable and worth it. Mary did not fear her experience. Mary was most likely prepared and ready to have her baby and did just that.

Many speculations are made from people in our day about how hard and painful that would have been for Mary. But, I think otherwise. Aside from wishing that her mother could be with her, I think she probably managed beautifully. I venture to even guess that her birthing was quite comfortable. Now, don't misunderstand what I mean. I do not mean laying there as if she was sleeping or day dreaming or some other idea of "comfort". I mean, I bet she felt little pain amid the work and pressure of birthing a baby. I have had babies that have been painful, but I have also had babies that there was very little pain. It was still work. It was still a mental challenge to stay relaxed and calm. But, amid the pressure of the uterus working and the bones moving to accommodate the baby, there was very little pain. I imagine that is how it was for Mary. Real birth involves swaying, motion, sounding, sweating work, but not necessarily pain.

At the time of the actual birthing, I bet she was squatting, or on her hands and knees. I imagine she knew her baby was coming out. I imagine that she may have even quietly told Joseph to get ready, the baby was coming. I imagine that together, beautifully and serenly, they welcomed the Savior as his wet tiny body slipped easily out and into their waiting arms. I am sure the angesl accompanied Mary and were her guides, her comforts, and it was joyous! The pressure and work of birth sometimes can be overwhelming, even to the point of exhaustion. She may have been tired, wishing to be done, and thinking it was too hard. But, when those moments come, Joseph and undoubtedly the Holy Ghost would have been there to comfort, guide, and give reassurance.

Just because birth is scary and painful for modern women does not mean that is how it is meant to be, nor how it is for all women. Birth experiences are a cultural thing, and in modern times, we have been taught to fear birth, that birth is the business of doctors and the technology is necessary to make it safe.

I contend that birth is safe, not designed to be horrific nor even very painful, and that when approached with faith, it is joyful, comfortable, and beautiful.

Mary's birthing must have been beautiful because she was full of faith. Joseph got to witness how strong and beautiful his wife really was. Most men don't get to witness that full view of their wives' strength. But Joseph got to. Joseph got to be a real part in the birthing and I know how that can strengthen a relationship between partners and between mother and baby and father and baby. Jospeh sealed his dedication to the Lord as his earthly father-figure by participating in the events of the birth.

After Jesus was born, I am sure Mary held him close to her and inhaled that tiny infant newborn smell and fell in love with her baby. I bet she cried and laughed and praised the Lord. I bet Joseph cried and put his hand on tiny Jesus' back and whispered words of love to Mary and of praise to the Lord as well. I would not be surprised if they heard Angels singing. And then, as all newborns do, Jesus began to suckle and nursed at his mother's breast. What a joyful thing to behold. I have been able to be present when infants take that first suck of liquid gold from their mother's breast and it is pure magic. I am sure Jesus felt loved, secure, and looked into his mother's eyes with that deep newborn gaze that only a new mother can describe. Until you have beheld the alert newborn gazing into his mother's eyes, you dont' know what seeing a spiritual connection looks like. It is as if the baby is seeing his mother's full spirit and potential and reaffirming that to her as he gazes back. It is beautiful!

The "laid him in a manger" part probably came later - probably referring to their housing/rooming circumstances after the birth. After the bonding, after the nursing, after the getting-to-know-you hours after birth.

So, many people ask about the mess of the birth, the placenta, and cutting the cord. Well, that is handled simply. Up until modern man decided he knew best in birth and began to "manage" it, the placenta just came out when ready and the cord was cut later. The physiological set-up is divinly designed, remember? So, the uterus pushes the placenta out - into a bowl, or towel or blanket and then, I bet Joseph cut the cord with a knife when it was white and out of blood. Thinking of that era, I am sure he would have had a knife with him.

After getting Mary a change of clothes, she would have been ready for visitors to share in their joy in the birth of the Lord Jesus Christ. So, the Lord sent visitors - Shepherds. They came with haste and got to share in the joy of the birth as well.

What a different picture of the "lowly" birth of the Savior. Mary was ready, Joseph was lovingly helpful, and the Angels were their help. That is my idea of the ideal birth indeed!

Wow, what seems like a stress is gone in the flash of an instant and life moves on doesn't it.

We had a bizarre Christmas. Ethan knocked out his 3 front teeth Christmas day only after Harrison and Emma both had the stomach flu that morning. My house is a mess, my kids toys are all over the place, and what can you do?

Anyway, I wanted to note some of my thoughts I have been having of late from reading the scriptures. I am in 1 Ne. and I just read the part where the women had children in the wilderness.

I think of my own experience and try to apply it to what it would have been like to be in the wilderness for them. Their norm in birth was not as ours is. They were used to experiencing birth as it is - not as some medical event, but the real thing. They knew, or at least I suspect they knew, of how to be more comfortable with cushions, water, support, etc. They knew how to facilitate and alleviate with compassion. I also assume they knew the kinds of foods a mother-to-be should eat to be strong and have strong offspring. These knowledges were known and have been lost as it were in our modern day reliance upon technology, "fast" foods, and conveniences. They worked hard because that was daily life. Yes, they might have had servants to do washing and cooking and such, so that burden may have also weighed them down. But, I don't believe it was for them what it would be like for the majority of women today to have to "toil" or work in the wilderness.

I bet they got fatigued during early pregnancy. I bet their joints ached during the night. I bet they were hungry more often and for more food - which we know they had very limited supply of many times. I am sure they had times they longed for a soft bed to sleep in and they wished they could sit down and put their feet up and have a drink of something or other they missed. But, as Nephi testified - they learned to bear these things with strength and non-murmering. Non-murmuring for me includes gladness, so they must have found joy in their strength.

Laman and Lemuel, on the other hand, were prone to complaint. They were quick to find fault and appeal to how difficult they had it that they claimed it would have been better for their women to have died than to have to bear those hardships. They saw, and I am sure heard and clung to, the complaints of sore joints, fatigue, heartburn, insomnia, hunger, and their birthing sounds and it only made them more sure in their determination that it was so horrible.

It reminds me of my approach to birth vs. the mainstream mother. We are both doing a task that is noble, and the crown of our creation. But, I choose to see the joy, feel the beauty, and experience the full ups and downs of pregnancy and birthing and cherish that. I choose to be full of feeling so as to appreciate the joys because of the lows. I choose to let myself glory in the mode of birth, in the divinly appointed way we bear children. I choose to give the glory to the Lord as I rely on Him as His babies are born through me.

Now, I don't want that to sound like I am bragging. I am not. I am so honored that the Lord has seen fit to allow me these choice experiences. I am humbled that I get to participate and I do not want it belittled, downplayed, or taken from me in any way or by any one. I am referring in that last sentance to how birth is managed in today's mainstream setting. One of drugs, equipment, staff, sterile locations, isolation from supportive caregivers, and a general lack of knowledge of the midwifery skills that bring compassion, strength, confidence, and if I may be so bold as to say, the spirit back into birthing. Actually, the spirit is there, and midwifery works in a way as to be conducive of that spirit. Contrasting that to the hospital setting, the machines, the drugs, the "Experts" (doctors) take the main focus and actually overrides the stirrings of the spirit that make the experience horrendous for many women.

I spoke to a woman today in church who asked me about my childbirth education and doula work. She described herself as a pansy and even confessed that she won't have more children because her doctor retired and she is afraid she wouldn't be able to find someone to induce her and give her an epidural early. Little does she know that there are tons and tons of doctors who would be glad to give that to her and that is how the practice as a rule. But, what struck me the most is that her confidence in herself as a birthing woman was next to none, and she admitted that she knew she was missing the Spiritual side of birth by relying on drugs and medicine to manage her birth. She did not experience that in any of her 3 births, knew she had missed out on that, but was not willing to do the work to be able to gain it.

I believe that is why we, and possibly Laman and Lemuel, are not able to see the joy. Not able to have a desire to experience it in the Lord's way in joy and determination. The desire is not there. The work is seen as too hard, or too painful, or too whatever to keep us from taking that leap of faith required to reach out and do more and be more.

I am so greatful to the Lord for His tender mercies upon me and that I am able to have that knowledge opened up to me. It has changed me forever.

new motivated todo list

I have done so much from my unmotivated list. Here is what is left:

How many links on mom's bracelet?
install photo bracelet software
create those bracelet photos and print
Niel and Jen's printing sheets and complete their cover/letter
Gail's photos on fabric and make quilt

Maren's 4x6 Dick and Jane blocks
Wendy's 4x6 Dick and Jane blocks
Mom'sx2 4x6 pictures printed (saved to jpeg)
Mom's x2 4x6 blocks
4x6 frames as block stands (3 of them)
Our 6x6 blocks - moon and family
6x6 pictures adapted and jpeg'd and printed
wrap wrap wrap

find out how many batteries we need

YEah!!!