In writing that last post, it reminded me that I wanted to paint a different picture of Mary's experience in her birthing of the Lord Jesus Christ than was portrayed in our church just before Christmas.
The speaker was quoting heavily from a talk given by one of the General Authorities. I love the leaders of our church, but I do not agree with his view on this sacred topic. Much of his comments were about how hard and lowly the birth must have been. I will not quote the words here. But consider this other point of view based on my own experiences of birth and of other women I know.
First, picture a young woman - pure and full of faith in the Lord. Picture a choice youth, much like many of the youth in our church - with a strong desire to do right. Like Nephi, a youth who seeks the will of the Lord and is willing to do even though they cannot see the end nor how they will actually accomplish the Lord's will. Picture a young woman brought up in a home that prays, listens to the words of the Lord's leaders, studies the Scriptures, and seeks to do what is right. Picture also a young woman brought up in a world where birth is watched over by midwives in the comfort of one's own home and with other women close to the birthing mother. Where birthing is normal, nothing to fear, and a joyful time in a woman's life. Birthing is an everyday event met with joy and not fear.
Now, imagine this young woman, finding herself with a faithful husband, expecting her first baby. Except for how this baby was conceived, it was a time of joy. She probably felt a great connection to the baby's spirit inside of her; A time of excitement and anticipation. What will he look like? What will it be like to hold him for the first time? To hold him to my breast and nurse and nurture him there? She was preparing her whole life to be a mother. I am sure she was excited, although a bit nervous about the unknown - still excited to be experiencing it all. And, she had the wonderful support of her loving husband - who proved his loyalty to her and his devotion to her through the unusual circumstances surrounding their engagement and marriage.
They were then asked to leave their home to go to a small town far away to pay their taxes and be counted for a census. I am sure, as a woman of faith, she may have been unsure how she would accomplish the tasks before her, but she knew that the Lord was with her and she would be able to do it. Traveling by donkey, she was undoubtedly uncomfortable at times. And yet, that may have been a way she had traveled before. And if not, she still had her husband, and the Lord with her to comfort and guide her.
Fast forward to the time she is to give birth. She knew the time was soon and so did Joseph. We don't know for sure, but I bet they knew the baby would be born while they were away from home and prepared for it. They carried with them supplies they would need. Baby blankets, diapers or whatever was the custom for that baby item, extra clothing for Mary, food and water. They didn't need much more than that. Birthing equipment of the era was really all comfort-related - and normal birth needs no more than that.
What they really needed was a place. A place not only to stay, but a place suitable for a birth to occur. A place that was isolated. A place that was clean and a good temperature and dry. A place they could be intimate and private and that had water. However this place was obtained, the Lord was watching over them and I am sure guided the events that led to their being in the stable. Clean straw and hay was undoubtedly available to prepare a bed and water was available to drink and use. Blankets were likely there. And we don't know that they were alone. There may have even been a village midwife or two that could have been contacted and been there.
But, what if it was just Mary and Joseph there alone during the labor and birthing? Speaking from my own experience, there is little need in a normal birthing for there to be anything else. Loving, encouraging words must have been issued from Joseph's lips. He could have easily helped her into comfortable positions. He loved her, for sure, and being guided by the spirit most likely offered prayers and was immense support for Mary.
And, Mary probably had seen births in her youth. Why would that matter? She knew what normal birth looked like. She had no need to fear the birth itself. Even if she hadn't been to a birth - the extraordinary fear that surrounds birth for most modern day women I believe was absent for Mary. Birth was normal and joyous. Birth was hard work, but manageable and worth it. Mary did not fear her experience. Mary was most likely prepared and ready to have her baby and did just that.
Many speculations are made from people in our day about how hard and painful that would have been for Mary. But, I think otherwise. Aside from wishing that her mother could be with her, I think she probably managed beautifully. I venture to even guess that her birthing was quite comfortable. Now, don't misunderstand what I mean. I do not mean laying there as if she was sleeping or day dreaming or some other idea of "comfort". I mean, I bet she felt little pain amid the work and pressure of birthing a baby. I have had babies that have been painful, but I have also had babies that there was very little pain. It was still work. It was still a mental challenge to stay relaxed and calm. But, amid the pressure of the uterus working and the bones moving to accommodate the baby, there was very little pain. I imagine that is how it was for Mary. Real birth involves swaying, motion, sounding, sweating work, but not necessarily pain.
At the time of the actual birthing, I bet she was squatting, or on her hands and knees. I imagine she knew her baby was coming out. I imagine that she may have even quietly told Joseph to get ready, the baby was coming. I imagine that together, beautifully and serenly, they welcomed the Savior as his wet tiny body slipped easily out and into their waiting arms. I am sure the angesl accompanied Mary and were her guides, her comforts, and it was joyous! The pressure and work of birth sometimes can be overwhelming, even to the point of exhaustion. She may have been tired, wishing to be done, and thinking it was too hard. But, when those moments come, Joseph and undoubtedly the Holy Ghost would have been there to comfort, guide, and give reassurance.
Just because birth is scary and painful for modern women does not mean that is how it is meant to be, nor how it is for all women. Birth experiences are a cultural thing, and in modern times, we have been taught to fear birth, that birth is the business of doctors and the technology is necessary to make it safe.
I contend that birth is safe, not designed to be horrific nor even very painful, and that when approached with faith, it is joyful, comfortable, and beautiful.
Mary's birthing must have been beautiful because she was full of faith. Joseph got to witness how strong and beautiful his wife really was. Most men don't get to witness that full view of their wives' strength. But Joseph got to. Joseph got to be a real part in the birthing and I know how that can strengthen a relationship between partners and between mother and baby and father and baby. Jospeh sealed his dedication to the Lord as his earthly father-figure by participating in the events of the birth.
After Jesus was born, I am sure Mary held him close to her and inhaled that tiny infant newborn smell and fell in love with her baby. I bet she cried and laughed and praised the Lord. I bet Joseph cried and put his hand on tiny Jesus' back and whispered words of love to Mary and of praise to the Lord as well. I would not be surprised if they heard Angels singing. And then, as all newborns do, Jesus began to suckle and nursed at his mother's breast. What a joyful thing to behold. I have been able to be present when infants take that first suck of liquid gold from their mother's breast and it is pure magic. I am sure Jesus felt loved, secure, and looked into his mother's eyes with that deep newborn gaze that only a new mother can describe. Until you have beheld the alert newborn gazing into his mother's eyes, you dont' know what seeing a spiritual connection looks like. It is as if the baby is seeing his mother's full spirit and potential and reaffirming that to her as he gazes back. It is beautiful!
The "laid him in a manger" part probably came later - probably referring to their housing/rooming circumstances after the birth. After the bonding, after the nursing, after the getting-to-know-you hours after birth.
So, many people ask about the mess of the birth, the placenta, and cutting the cord. Well, that is handled simply. Up until modern man decided he knew best in birth and began to "manage" it, the placenta just came out when ready and the cord was cut later. The physiological set-up is divinly designed, remember? So, the uterus pushes the placenta out - into a bowl, or towel or blanket and then, I bet Joseph cut the cord with a knife when it was white and out of blood. Thinking of that era, I am sure he would have had a knife with him.
After getting Mary a change of clothes, she would have been ready for visitors to share in their joy in the birth of the Lord Jesus Christ. So, the Lord sent visitors - Shepherds. They came with haste and got to share in the joy of the birth as well.
What a different picture of the "lowly" birth of the Savior. Mary was ready, Joseph was lovingly helpful, and the Angels were their help. That is my idea of the ideal birth indeed!
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