new motivated todo list

I have done so much from my unmotivated list. Here is what is left:

How many links on mom's bracelet?
install photo bracelet software
create those bracelet photos and print
Niel and Jen's printing sheets and complete their cover/letter
Gail's photos on fabric and make quilt

Maren's 4x6 Dick and Jane blocks
Wendy's 4x6 Dick and Jane blocks
Mom'sx2 4x6 pictures printed (saved to jpeg)
Mom's x2 4x6 blocks
4x6 frames as block stands (3 of them)
Our 6x6 blocks - moon and family
6x6 pictures adapted and jpeg'd and printed
wrap wrap wrap

find out how many batteries we need

YEah!!!

a constant companion

On Sunday, a woman spoke of her conversion and mentioned how, when she was investigating, she went at first to LDS activities because she liked how she felt there - a feeling she didn't feel anywhere else.

That made me think about the feelings the Spirit brings. I am so familiar with the feelings of peace, love, joy, and utter happiness that the idea of it being new and unattainable elsewhere for her was so foreign to me. The idea of being without that constant companion makes my soul shutter. I can't imagine the darkness. I can't imagine the lonliness of it. I can't imagine the feelings of being lost that must be in the heart of a person who has never know the spirit.

Or worse, the feeling of emptiness in the heart of a person who has once known it, but lost it. If you've never known it, then you don't really know what you are missing. But, to have tasted of its goodness and then left it - that must truely be dark.

I think of people I know in my life that were once members - active and they MUST have felt the stirrings of the Spirit in their hearts and souls. But, now they are inactive. They truely must not have understood. How else could a person leave and turn from that God who sends His Spirit into our hearts so readily, so fully?

I am so grateful for the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost in my life. I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father, who shows me the way, and helps me along that path back to Him. I wish for everyone to receive that. My deepest Christmas wish - really all throughout the year, is for everyone, everywhere to have that Spirit dwell in their hearts and lives and guides them back home to our Father in Heaven.

unmotivated blahs

I am feeling a bit wierd - like I can't pinpoint my feelings right now. Am I anxious, am I bored, am I just feeling blah and unmotivated, is it because my computer is being slow - or am I just feeling creatively stuck and unable to conceptualize and create the photos I need for my homemade presents.

I should be able to do this. I mean, I have all the software and items I need on my computer now - just no printer, so perhaps I don't want to get started because I can't see my projects to completion anyway right now.

I know there are things that I need to do and could be doing, but here I sit, wishing my computer would move faster at reordering and opening my files. Why, I don't know. It isn't getting anything done - it is just filling my time so that I am at least appearing busy.

Ok, so I will make a list. First, a list of things that still need to be done so I can complete my projects:

Buy Wendy and Tim's gifts
How many links on mom's bracelet?
find other photo bracelets
get family pictures off dad's computer
install photo bracelet software
create those bracelet photos and print
Niel and Jen's printing sheets and complete their cover/letter
Gail's photos on fabric and make quilt
find picture books to make Maren's blocks out of and ours
family photos for blocks
Maren's blocks 4x6
Mom's blocks 4x6
Anne's blocks 4x6
Our blocks 4x6
our 9x9 blocks
hand tags
4x6 frames as block stands?

find out how many batteries we need

wrap presents
stocking treats

family letters

Hand tags


Ok, wow, I have a list and an objective, and I feel like I can get going on this.

counting 25 days

I saw this on another blog and thought it was cute. For some reason, there are some repeat numbers with different questions, so I left them in.

25. How many more days til' Christmas?
21, and it is gonna fly by! Holy cow!

24. What color is your Christmas tree?
Green, but still in the box :( We got it from my mom's business partner, and she throws fake snow all over hers. So, it "snows" from our tree.

23. Bought any gifts for anyone yet?
yes, I'm almost done shopping - but now I need to actually MAKE some of the gifts.

22. Are there any Gifts under the tree?
um, what tree? see above...

21. Will it snow this Christmas?
I really hope so - I just love snow.

20. How many family members live in your house?
7!

19. Is Santa coming?
You betcha, we love to have santa leave us stuff.

18. Have you been naughty or nice?
I have been mostly nice, but unfortunately I am reaping the rewards of eating all the m&m's (a big weakness of mine) and have a lovely cold sore.

17. Favorite place to get presents from?
Online - oh yeah. bonus if I can get free shipping!

16. How many places do you go to celebrate the holiday?
Hmmm, down town, mom's, in-laws, and our house, that makes 4.

15. Ever 'peeked' inside a present?
When I was a kid, I peeked one year at where the presents were hidden and saw skis, but I didn't know who they were for. And, one year I carefully de-taped one side of a gift to see what was under that wrapping. I've since learned my lesson that while it may be hard to not know, it is far better to wait and be surprised. Hence, we don't find out the sex of our babies either.

14. Ever tried egg nog?
I take mine non-alcoholic. But, raw milk and eggs thank you very much! Yummy!

15. How cold is it now?
brrrrrrrr - cold

14. Decorated your house yet?
nope, but usually I do the day after Thanksgiving

13. Do you still leave the cookies and milk, just for the fun of it?
Of course, the kids plan what Santa will get and make sure it is tasty. I think this year we'll leave him a delicious deli sandwich and a concrete (a local soda shop's version of a thick milkshake)

12. How many presents would you say you got last year?
hmmmm, 12. I don't remember.

13. Name 3 things you asked for this Christmas:
PSCS2 or 3, a new printer, and a piece of furniture.

12. Ever watched The Christmas Story?
Yes, every year.

11. Have you ever been sleding?
yeah, but not for a long time. We ought to take the kids this year.

10. Do you get more money, or clothes for Christmas?
I get clothes more than money, but I also get other stuff too. My mom is good at just getting exactly what I asked for so I don't have to return much and her money is well spent. She is very generous.

9. Ever had a snow ball fight?
Yes, but not recently. I don't like snow down my neck.

8. How many stockings will hang from the fire place?
We don't actually have a fireplace, but we have 7 stockings to hang on our banister.

7. Does your dog/cat get a stocking?
Gladly, we don't have a dog or cat.

6. How many people would you say you buy for a year?
at least 20, but that doesn't count neighbors.

5. What kind of food do you celebrate with?
We have king crab legs and filet minion every Christmas eve. I also make caramel, and other goodies - oh and gingerbread with whipped cream.

4. Did it snow on Christmas Day last year?
No, but it will this year.

3. Do you have one or more trees that are decorated for a specific theme?
no

2. Do you go to Church on Christmas Day?
We go to Church on every Sunday - so if that happens to be when Christmas day is, then yes.

1. Merry Christmas

It's beginning to look nothing like Christmas.

Well, for us anyway.

We are tearing out our old wood floor, because it had water damage, not because it was old. And, the rooms that our tree could be in are not available. So, I have no tree up. I am so bummed!

Christmas gifts

My 3 oldest children know about Santa. They are almost 9, 7, and 5. When my oldest lost his first tooth, he asked me if there really was a tooth fairy. I could not, in good conscience, stand there and lie to him. I want him to know the importance of being honest more than I want him to believe in fairytale creatures. So, I told him that I am the tooth fairy. He then quickly put two and two together and asked if there was a Santa either. He was clearly disappointed to learn that I am also Santa. We ended up having a good discussion about the truth, about Jesus and that He really is real, and in the end it was a good thing. I told him not to tell anyone else though, because it is fun to believe in Santa for a while.

When my second child lost her first tooth, she also asked. I don't really know what prompted them to ask, but we also had a conversation about it. I told her not to tell anyone else, but that her older brother knew as well.

Well, when my third turned 5, she came to me and asked if Santa was real. It took me off guard especially because she won't loose her first tooth for quite a while. I think that her older siblings may have mentioned it to her. I again told her the truth. She actually seemed excited to be old enough to be let in on the big "secret". Her younger brother is 3. I hope he gets a few more years to even learn who Santa is before he finds out. I don't approve of lying, but playing like there is a Santa is fine.

So, we continue to play "Santa". It is fun. It is also so nice to not have to lie to my children as well. I found out when I was probably 8 or 9. That feels like ages ago.

My 7 year old asked recently if the Christmas presents we get from "Santa" are free. Boy, wouldn't that be nice. I told her no, that daddy and I pay for them, so we have to choose only what we really want because we can't have it all. She has expressed that she wishes Christmas was free. So do I!

The best part about it is that the real reason we Celebrate Christmas actually IS free. Jesus Christ did come to this earth. He lived a perfect life. Not only so that we would have a perfect example to follow, but also so that he would be able to be the mediator with the Father to pay the price for our sins. He lived and died and took his life up again so that we could also do the same and live with Him forever. The only price He asks is that we follow Him - we keep His commandments, and repent when we make a mistake.

I am so grateful for the greatest gifts our Father in Heaven has given us - our lives, our bodies, our homes, but mostly our Savior, and the gift of eternal life if we but follow Him all our days.

~M

Life

I am having a yucky morning. I was kept up last night for pretty much nothing, then the two youngest decided to be needy at 6:00 am. I usually wake up at 7:00 and because I was especially tired from going to bed so late, I was really looking forward to that last hour of sleep. I did stay in bed, but sleep was non-existent. I love my babies, but I sure feel better when I get the sleep I am expecting.

Expectation is an interesting thing. When it is not met, it seems to make things harder to manage. But, if the expectation is not there at all, where does that get you? You don't have to deal too much with disappointments. But, you aren't pushed to do more either. If I don't expect much out of my kids, I won't be too disappointed. But, I won't feel the joy of their accomplishment either. So, I expect certain things, and it makes me terribly cranky when some of those expectations go unmet.

I wish my expectations were more in line with the Lord's will for me and my family though. If I were more in tune with that, then I think I would be less inclined to be bothered by my own petty expectations being unmet, and see the results for what they really mean. Perhaps my kids waking up early was a way to help me to actually get up and read scriptures before the kids get up like I claim I wish I did. My choice to sleep in therefore is the actual expectation unmet. So, in reality, I caused my own dissatisfaction this morning by not heeding the idea that getting woken up early was actually a good thing.

food for thought - as my baby nurses at the keyboard (nak) with me this morning.

On a different note, I do love nursing my babies. I have nursed for a long time now. Pretty much non-stop since 1999. I think during that time, I have had about 7.5 months worth of a break. I have nursed through my last 2 pregnancies entirely, and have tandem nursed between 3 children for the past 3.5 years. There are times I feel so touched-out, that I don't feel I have any of me left to share. I relish in the few showers I do get to take alone. That time is as precious to me as the time I get to share with my children while they are small.

Hug your babies...

First Post

Hello! I decided to start a blog because I can journal faster and my thoughts flow easier typed than hand written. So, I figured that I'd be more consistant in my entries than my paper journal.

A bit about me, I am a wife and mother of 5 kids, ages ranging from almost 9 years to 9 months. I am a childbirth educator, and I am a doula. I love to prepare whole traditional foods for my family - including raw milk products, soaked or sprouted grain and legume dishes, delicious sauces from scratch using homemade stocks, real butter and I use very little prepared or refined things. I am strongly anti-hydrogenated fats and anti-corn syrup. We are a homebirthing family, we use cloth diapers 2/3 of the time, I breastfeed my kids for an extended period of time, we don't circumcise our babies, and we selectively vaccinate. And I recycle. I am a cub scout leader, but am still very new at that.

I am a very active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. For more information, you can go to www.mormon.org.

I just started digital scrapbooking using Photoshop and really am loving it. I am quite protective of our identities, so I will not be posting much by way of actual names, dates, and photos, but may eventually post a page here and there. I wait with baited breath for when ikeagoddess posts her daily freebie list. Check it out at www.ikeagoddess.blogspot.com. I also have found www.fotoscrapluna.blogspot.com quite useful for my digital freebie fix. Oh, and I should mention that I lack some computer skill, so where some people have fancy blinkies and quick links like that, I don't know how to do those, so mine are the "old fashioned" way.

As for my blog name, Faith In Birth, that has great meaning for me. I began my journey into the world of birth pretty much the same as any other woman - I got pregnant. I began thinking about birth and thinking that I hate needles and would rather not have one in my back if I didn't need one - but my journey then took a turn for the better. I took a class in the Bradley Method and had my baby unmedicated in the hospital with an OB. It was a hard birth, but I knew I could do it, I knew my husband could help me, and I knew it would all be ok. I had faith in my body's design, in my Heavenly Father, and in myself in birth. I felt so empowered by my baby's birth, that I began teaching couples in the Bradley Method soon afterward. My first baby was 4 months old when I took the training. I chose to have my second baby in the same hospital with the same OB as my first - despite the fact that I had learned that homebirth was a safe and healthy option. I chose it because I didn't really think the hospital was "that bad." The birth was fine - but the nursery nurses were so rude, and the doctor was irresponsible in his comments and actions to me after the baby was born. I decided I would only use the hospital from then on out if there was a true medical need. I birthed my third baby at home with the watchful care of a very skilled midwife. The difference between the two is incomprehensible until you've been personally at a homebirth. They are just so different. I learned even more to trust the Lord, as I was free to really birth the way my body dictated - not according to someone else's idea of how birth works. My last two babies were born at home, in water. I will probably have at least one more baby, and waterbirth really is the way to go!

I have taught the Bradley Method for 8 years. I have been a doula off and on between my own births since 2002. About 3 years ago, I wanted to delve into another approach to unmedicated birth, and discovered HypnoBirthing. I observed a friend of mine teach her class and was impressed by numerous things. So, I got certified and began teaching that.

I recommend that couples who are planning a typcial birth in a hospital and especially with an OB would probably be best served by the Bradley Method, but for those couples who desire the best for their babies, out-of-hospital birthing using HypnoBirthing really is a beautiful way to welcome a tiny person into your family.

Well, there you go. My first entry. I anticipate this being a place for me to talk about birth, faith, families, and everything inbetween.